Breaking Barriers
by SaraVannin
Summary: A Rogue and Gambit story that focuses on what may have happened between UXM 348 & 349 (I think that's right). Its a bit angsty, I'm afraid, but I hope that you enjoy it anyway. S.


Disclaimer: I do not own either Rogue or Gambit, and most certainly do not own the X-Men. Marvel owns them all. That said, I hope you enjoy the story. S.  
  
"Our first..our last." The words echoed in her head as slowly he pulled her to the ground. For a minute they did nothing but hold each other. She relished the feel of his warm hands on her back. Even through the material of her uniform she could feel their warmth, penetrating skin and soul. Slowly she raised her head to meet his eyes. Even though their powers had been negated his eyes were still the glowing red, like a fire in the darkness. She was suddenly curious as to whether they were like that when he was born. Was that why he was an orphan for so long? 'How could anyone not love his eyes? They're beautiful' she thought to herself. She had always seen so much passion and spirit in those eyes, it never occurred to her that someone else could find them frightening. She looked at his face trying to read what he was thinking. She had to bite her lip to stop from laughing. 'He looks more scared than Ah am.' Slowly she moved her face forward, softly brushing her lips with his. She momentarily expected the usual rush of memories not her own to overwhelm her, when they did not she smiled. 'O' course nothings gonna happen!' Her hand involuntarily moved to the thick metal chain that surrounded her neck. Suddenly filled with more confidence she moved in again, the desire to feel his lips again giving her kiss a sense of urgency.  
  
He sat there just holding her. What did he think he was doing? 'I can' do dis ta her. She deserve better dan alla my lies an' shit.' He watched as she raised her head to stare into his eyes. 'Demon eyes,' he thought to himself. He hated his eyes, always blamed them for how he had been treated in the past. Each time someone gasped at the sight of his devil eyes he felt as if they had actually struck him. He looked into her sparkling emerald eyes. They seemed to reach his very soul, which then made him wonder if he still had a soul. 'If I do, den I wonder what she sees.' Terror filled him. Did she really know about his past? Could she really love him if she truly knew what kind of a monster he was? Was this such a good idea? 'It ain't fair ta her. I can' let her do dis without knowing what kinda man I am.' Before he could think anymore he felt the soft caress of her lips against his. He closed his eyes momentarily, savouring the sweetness of the chaste kiss. He opened his eyes again to see her smiling to herself, but before he could ask she moved in and kissed him again, this time more roughly.  
  
She pushed her body against his, passion and desperation causing her to lose control. She wanted him, had done for some time. Pushing herself on top of him so that he lay on the floor, she let her hands run across his chest and down. She stopped just above his waist and searched for where the top part of his uniform ended. Feeling the softness of his skin that was exposed by the separate parts, she began to lift the top off. Her fingers grazed over his skin as she lifted the top off, the sensation causing her to break the kiss. She closed her eyes and ran her hand across his stomach. She wanted to savour every second, memorise every inch of his body and the way that it felt to her touch. She lifted his top up over his head and threw it to the side. Slowly, she ran her hands over his bare chest, tracing the faint lines of old scars. 'It's been such a hard life for him. So much hurt.' Her fingers faintly followed the path of a scar about three inches long on his abdomen. 'Ah may not know where the hurt comes from, but Ah do know that it goes deep. Soul deep.' Her brow crinkled in concentration. 'So much guilt, like he's carryin' the weight of the world on his shoulders.' An image flashed before her eyes, dark, blood, the feeling of complete fear, and suddenly searing pain. Rogue gasped and grabbed her stomach as an unbearable pain overwhelmed her, a pain not her own. As she strained to fight the unconsciousness that threatened to overcome her, she heard his voice calling her, the concern clear. "R-Remy.pain.it hurts so much.."  
  
He hadn't expected so much passion from Rogue. It never occurred to him that the woman who had always seemed so scared of intimacy, would have so much desire. He felt himself being pushed to lie back on the ground, Rogue's slim body pressing against him. He felt her hands wander over his chest, never breaking the kiss as she did. His eyes widened as her hands wandered down to his stomach. Not sure what to expect, he held his breath. Suddenly, he felt the soft warmth of her hands touch his skin where his uniform parted. A mixture of relief and disappointment was felt as she broke off the kiss. Disappointment because of the obvious, finally he was kissing the woman who he loved with all his heart and soul, depending on whether he still had one. Relief because she would no longer be making what he believed to be the worst mistake of her life. However, all thoughts were pushed aside as Rogue's fingers grazed his skin. Before he could stop her, Rogue had lifted his top off. He lay there feeling vulnerable under her gaze, her hands never braking contact with his skin. He allowed himself the briefest moment to savour just how it felt, how her touch felt. Closing his eyes, he focused on her touch, the sensation so tender and loving. 'Would y' still touch me so softly, chere, if y' knew what I'd done?' He felt her hand caress the flesh on his stomach, a part of him that he knew was scarred. Her finger began to trace the line of the scar, only serving to remind him of his secret. He felt her stop her caress and feared that it was because he repulsed her, that she had figured that the man who had such scars was nothing but a monster. He didn't want to open his eyes to see the condemning look that she would have in her eyes, but then he heard her gasp. It wasn't the sound of someone who was surprised, or even horrified, it was the sound of someone in agony desperately trying not to scream, and boy did he know that sound. He opened his eyes to see the woman he loved doubled over, clutching her stomach. "Rogue! Chere, what is it? Chere?" Moving over to her, he pulled her into his arms just as she spoke. "R-Remy.pain.it hurts so much.." Her eyes moved down to look where her hands grasped at her stomach, his eyes following. It sent a shiver down his spine, it was the exact same place as his scar. The feelings of guilt and sadness overwhelmed; even now he was continuing to hurt her.  
  
And then it stopped. Rogue's breath came easier to her and her body no longer tensed. The memory had come and gone, and although she had not known what it was, she knew where it had come from. She looked up into his eyes only to see them filled with guilt. He knew what was happening to her and he knew that he was responsible. For a second she wanted to ask him what it was that had caused him so much pain in the small hope that maybe, somehow she could make it better, but she then remembered her promise to him. 'Ah won't ask, just gonna have ta wait until he's ready ta tell me.' Reaching up from where she was being cradled by him, she stroked his jaw, getting his attention and said the only thing that mattered right now. "Ah love you."  
  
He felt her relax in his arms, but could not look her in the eyes. He felt her eyes on him and was sure that she was going to condemn him or force him to tell her what she was experiencing. After all, how could he expect her to give so much of her self to him with out anything in return? 'Tha's it, LeBeau, y'gon' have ta tell her. It's the least she deserves.' Before he could do anymore, he felt her soft hand on his cheek pulling his face and forcing him to look her in the eyes. To his surprise, there was no condemnation in them or hatred, there was only.. "Ah love you." It took him completely off guard, yet it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. There were no conditions, she hadn't said "Ah love you, but only if.." It wasn't forced, she had the power here. Instead, he thought that he had never heard anything so convincing in his life. It was the truth. And he loved her too.  
  
It was her turn to be shocked. She hadn't expected him to react the way he did. His entire mood had change. His features changed from what she could only describe as utterly depressed and guilt ridden to those of hope and gratitude. 'Didn't he realise?' she wondered. But then, she had put him in a coma and deserted him twice, been untrusting, inconsiderate...hardly things that you associate with loving someone. It then occurred to her that he hadn't said that he loved her too. 'Maybe Ah'm wrong, maybe the look ain't of hope, but amusement. After what Ah've done I wouldn't blame him for laughin' at me when Ah say that Ah love him.' She looked down at the ground before her, suddenly very ashamed of herself. It was then that she felt his hands take hers and raise them to his lips. He kissed them so softly and gently, as though they were the most delicate treasures in the world. The kiss lingered as though he were contemplating something, and then as the contact broke, Rogue received her second surprise..  
  
"Je t'aime." It had been the softest of whispers. In fact it was more as though he had breathed the very words, yet it was the most difficult thing he had had to do in the longest time. Not difficult because of whom it was said to, but difficult because of the vulnerability that came with it. He -could- love someone. That was something that he was willing to accept he was capable of doing, but once he had admitted it not only to himself, but to Rogue also, he felt as though now he had no defence. He knew that if now he were to be hurt by this person, bouncing back would be difficult, perhaps too difficult. Something like saying it in French comforted him slightly, simply because psychologically he felt as though this were a lesser confession, leaving him with some barrier against complete emotional nakedness. He didn't really want to say it, regardless of the fact that it was the truth. To him, not only would it make him weaker, but he found it difficult to believe that the kind of love he had to give would be good enough. She was beyond him, so much better that his love would be laughable. But he had said it; he -had- to. It felt good to say and as he saw her face light up with joy and her eyes fill up with unshed tears, he decided that if God were to take him, He should do it then and there because in that moment he was truly happy. He felt saved and he felt good.  
  
They moved into each other's embrace again, feeling safe for the first time in their lives. For one night they were together with no barriers and they felt as though they were whole. There were no doubts, no complications and no fears. It felt right and that was all that mattered as the woman who was physically unable to feel, touched and was touched, and the man who was emotionally unwilling to feel, loved and was loved.  
  
The End. 


End file.
